Good-bye, Instagram

Note: I’ve kept this post in “Drafts” for quite a while. It seemed self-indulgent to publish in the midst of everything that erupted shortly after I wrote the post. But with the growing awareness around the country of social media’s power for change (and also its troubling, relentless control over our minds), I thought I’dContinue reading “Good-bye, Instagram”

Day 29 – Divine

Two drunk and stuttering men sit on a bench at the outskirts of the woods. They flip the tabs off of too many beer cans, jeer at the passersby and chain smoke cigarettes. It’s raining. I hurry past with my resting don’t-mess-with-me face and catch myself judging them. They want to forget. Don’t we all?Continue reading “Day 29 – Divine”

Days 25 – 28

Day 25: Longing for a home I wander off into the National Gallery, lost in music and beautiful art. Several paintings remind me of my mother: Renoir’s portrait of a woman reclining in a long chaise and cradling a sleeping puppy in her arms, Eugene Carriere’s “Winding Wool,” Elizabeth Louise Vigee le Brun’s “Self PortraitContinue reading “Days 25 – 28”

Day 12 – Alive

Today I feel alive. I spend the afternoon sprawled in the grass, listening to my summer music playlist, and reading “Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.” The bees buzz around my feet, and little green bugs leap onto my arms searching for a friend. I let them. Maybe they desperately need a friend. Maybe theyContinue reading “Day 12 – Alive”

Day 11 – Angst

Waking up was disgusting. There was a frog in my throat, bloating in my face, and zero comprehension in my mind. In this disoriented state, Maddie and I met Tori for lunch at Chick-Fil-A, which made it all the more disorienting. The last time we were there together, Tori was our boss, and we wereContinue reading “Day 11 – Angst”

Day 10 – Outside of Self

The train screams on the hot metal tracks. We throw open the window to chase away the sticky humidity that seeps under our skin and lingers. A cool breeze filters through the screen, to tell us stories of where it’s been and where it was made, between the four corners of the world and withinContinue reading “Day 10 – Outside of Self”

Day 9 – Getting Through

From the journal: “Why can’t I enjoy a warm, summer day? Am I so numb and apathetic that I can’t be invested in pursuing joy and finding contentment in things that once made my heart sing and set my mind free? Am I so tired that I can still feel sad on days like this?Continue reading “Day 9 – Getting Through”

Day 8 – Reminders

Sleeping in, even if it’s just an hour or two, is a rare privilege. What follows are slow mornings in peaceful solitude, give-or-take blasting your favorite music while you brush your teeth and dancing around your empty apartment like a happy fool, without toothpaste dripping from your chin. I made a list of simple meals I’mContinue reading “Day 8 – Reminders”

Day 7 – Senses

From the journal: “I haven’t had a sense of smell in two weeks [for various reasons]. Today I realized it’s starting to come back, but every time I inhale a deep breath outdoors, I highly dislike the smell that assails my senses. It smells like polluted air. It’s not sweet. Like freshly cut grass mixedContinue reading “Day 7 – Senses”

Day 6 – Dissociation

While we conducted close readings of “The Wanderer” and “The Seafarer,” a real-life storm raged its way across town outside. It seemed that night had fallen in the middle of the afternoon, and the rain ricocheted against the window panes as thunder threatened to make the ground tremble. As the skies surrendered their burdens toContinue reading “Day 6 – Dissociation”