Good-bye, Instagram

Note: I’ve kept this post in “Drafts” for quite a while. It seemed self-indulgent to publish in the midst of everything that erupted shortly after I wrote the post. But with the growing awareness around the country of social media’s power for change (and also its troubling, relentless control over our minds), I thought I’dContinue reading “Good-bye, Instagram”

collected thoughts, iii

This one is a little on the more difficult and heavy side. If you’re dealing with your own emotional burdens and reading about someone else’s may make your battle harder, please feel free to close out the tab and come back another time. But if you have space somewhere to help me bear this, I’dContinue reading “collected thoughts, iii”

the year of letting go || pt. i

— falling — The spring semester of 2019 found me putting up a busy and smiley facade while plodding through one of the lowest lows I’d experienced to that point. After a couple years of thinking my only mental battle was generalized anxiety, I was suddenly also diagnosed with mild to moderate clinical depression. I’dContinue reading “the year of letting go || pt. i”

Sabbath

some spaces to cry: the edge of a sea green bathtub because they shouldn’t be texting you Monday chapel if the worship team makes you sing songs about ashes a full-length mirror crudely stuck to the wall you’ll think you look like a monster on Amazon while looking for a cheap, single-serve coffee maker theContinue reading “Sabbath”

weekend fragments

I remember getting mad at God when he asked me to obey and I did and I ended up getting my heart broken because I did the right thing. It turns out that happens a lot. Jesus called his disciples straight into a storm and asked them to trust him. In the end he calmedContinue reading “weekend fragments”

coffee lies

I’ve drunk coffee three afternoons in a row and that hasn’t happened since my last major mental breakdown. I know it’s bad for me. I know when the time comes to fall blissfully to sleep my heart will race and convince me there are even more things to be afraid of than usual. I knowContinue reading “coffee lies”

Days 45 – 49

Day 45: Reflections on memory Just before chapel I sit in the garden by the river. I do some homework, read, listen to music, and my heart is calm. A little light creeps into my heavy body and lifts it for a moment. T.S. Eliot writes in “Little Gidding” that memory is the liberation fromContinue reading “Days 45 – 49”

Days 41 – 44

Day 41: The difference Magdalen College is quintessential Oxford. We make a short trip there in the morning and some of my classmates lead us in psalm and prayer in the very chapel C.S. Lewis would worship in. Our voices rise to the ceiling and reverberate against the carefully stained glass and stone walls. WeContinue reading “Days 41 – 44”

Days 30 – 36

Day 30: Flowers in your hair Today is about capturing the little moments happening on this big, big span of cliffs. Of individuals losing themselves in the grandeur of the sky, the sea, the space. Of getting lost and somehow still stumbling out of the forest and onto the main road (if it can evenContinue reading “Days 30 – 36”