Tag: love
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Whispers
When people ask me if I’m writing anything, I want to say, “Yes, I’m collecting fragments.” Because isn’t that what the majority of writing is? Gathering fragments in our small attempts to put the world and ourselves back together? Like this one from Penelope Lively’s City of the Mind: “She starts to sob, the child: […]
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Redefining Home
Home is a concept that has undergone many a change in my heart since freshman year of college. Those earlier years of confused dislocation are documented well enough. But this year in particular has forced me to give up the idea of “settling,” or even of having only one home. The longest I lived in […]
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work as love
Nobody prepared me for the identity crisis that is “no longer being a student.” I’ve been working as a full-time brand journalist for two weeks now, and I’m face-to-face with the reality of indefinite work and what that means. Not being someone who wants to climb the corporate ladder, I’m having to redefine what growth, […]
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poem: untitled
In forsaking the ability to change,they diminish their capacity for hope.—Kathleen Norris, “Dakota” What must it feel liketo not be somebody’s first love? I’m sick of being angry.My therapist said thisis part of grief. I always know I’m home whenI don’t feel Asian enoughfor anyone on social media. I’m afraid to write.“You must trust the […]
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non-mother’s meditation on motherhood
Joan Didion writes in Blue Nights, “Once she was born I was never not afraid.” How much more anxious does one become upon having a child—upon being touched by God to bring up a little life that looks a little like oneself? To see oneself in the face of this sweet creature, this beautiful creature […]
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Poem: For Now
We watched the lightning show from my bedroom window, carmine and hibiscus dancing behind charcoal clouds,angelic hallelujah light. I scolded youfor being on your phone, but you were curiousabout gas excitation and electrons so,in retrospect, that was probably okay.Apparently lightning is five times hotterthan the sun, and Zeus is married to Hera,the goddess of childbirth […]
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collected thoughts, vii
Once, I thought a tiny tumbleweed was a groundhog with matted fur. Then it blew away. * Last week I revised an essay about love lost, love learned, and love rediscovered. It was a lot more emotionally exhausting to write than I thought it would be. I kept crying. Among many other things, the past […]
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collected thoughts, vi
One morning this past week, I spilled half a glass of chocolate milk on my father’s newspaper and my beloved copy of “Lila.” I censored my under-breath curse, snatched up a few stray paper towels to mop up the mess. If it had been coffee the incident would have struck me as being a pinnacle […]
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Abra
Lord, show me my sin: of when I have said too much and when I have not said enough. Lord, show me my darkness: not so I can wallow in shame but so I can fight for the light. Lord, teach me love: patience and kindness and trust do not envy, do not boast. Lord, […]