Joan Didion writes in Blue Nights, “Once she was born I was never not afraid.” How much more anxious does one become upon having a child—upon being touched by God to bring up a little life that looks a little like oneself? To see oneself in the face of this sweet creature, this beautiful creatureContinue reading “non-mother’s meditation on motherhood”
Tag Archives: death
Stories from 4FF4: Life is a Gift
In the morning, I thought of you and smiled. It still aches. It hurts to remember that you’re not here. And yet, somehow, I feel as if you’re still here. Your smile is alive and well. Your laugh rings through our hallways and the little family room in your split-level house. Your kindness still touchesContinue reading “Stories from 4FF4: Life is a Gift”
Healing
Sometimes it hits me all over again, and I remember you’re not here. I see your name, or the absence thereof, and fight the sobs that billow up in my throat’s stormy sea. Like a wave the emotions threaten to drown me. Sometimes I let myself fall, hands outstretched in surrender, and give way toContinue reading “Healing”
Eliana Chow 