Category: Rambles
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honest desires
Back in February, over kombucha and apple cider, I was trying to process with one of my mentors about a rapidly approaching decision I had to make. To say yes felt wrong, somehow, but I had no way to explain such an impulse, such a “feeling.” Rationally, I should say yes, I argued. By the…
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journal #050221
May 2, 2021 Halfway through my freshman year of college, I wrote a letter to my future graduating self. I found that recently, and although most of the contents were embarrassing there was this little paragraph: “Wherever you are and wherever you’re going, I dearly hope you have only drawn closer to Jesus. He alone…
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some musings on reading & technology & God
My mother offered to buy me a Kindle as a Christmas present. I poured out my thanks but turned her down. “But you won’t have a lot of space in your tiny D.C. apartment for books,” she said. “I’ll pile my books on the floor if I have to,” I said. “It’ll be easier to…
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When relationships falter
A realization: Satan’s lies always target relationships and communication. He targets our relationship with God, first of all. Satan would like nothing more than for us to stop speaking to God, to stop listening to God, to stop inviting God into our lives. Honestly, being actively mad at God and telling him so is better…
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distracted living
The other day I found myself having to schedule a meal with someone two weeks in advance. I balked at the realization that I’ve never had to do that before. Something was wrong. Something (someone?) convinces us that we need to be busy. There’s some inherent respect that comes from other people when we tell…
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weekend fragments
I remember getting mad at God when he asked me to obey and I did and I ended up getting my heart broken because I did the right thing. It turns out that happens a lot. Jesus called his disciples straight into a storm and asked them to trust him. In the end he calmed…
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coffee lies
I’ve drunk coffee three afternoons in a row and that hasn’t happened since my last major mental breakdown. I know it’s bad for me. I know when the time comes to fall blissfully to sleep my heart will race and convince me there are even more things to be afraid of than usual. I know…
Eliana Chow 