Slowing Down for Joy

Even in the midst of a time that comes with a forced slowing down, I’m hurrying. My attention span is nonexistent, darting from one thing to the next and back again in cyclical motions to the point of not getting anything done at all. Or, when the thing gets done (finishing a book, writing anContinue reading “Slowing Down for Joy”


The world came to a standstill on March 11. Everything we had hoped for, dreamed of, trusted in, crumbled in our hands and tumbled across the globe as invisible non-life broke through sandy faith and crushed our fragile reality. We sank, defeated, into ourselves and cried, clung to any last dangling lights we could findContinue reading “Crux”

Weighty Sin, Weightier Mercy

I am appalled at some of the headlines these days about how individuals are responding to the government restrictions. I am appalled at my own tendency toward impatience when I am told to do or not do something especially when tensions run high. We are selfish beings, idolatrous in how we are so wrapped upContinue reading “Weighty Sin, Weightier Mercy”

the light shines in the darkness

I have dirtied the temple of God with my sin. I have defiled his name, showered worms plump with soil upon my head. I sit in sack cloth and ashes. These chains are heavy. They drag me back to the grave. This flesh is weak. I lust after twisted versions of fulfillment, idolatrous copies ofContinue reading “the light shines in the darkness”

How long, O Lord?

January has been a hard month. Hard news has broken all over the world, from the attacks in the Middle East to the fires in Australia to the virus in China to the continued impeachment trials in the U.S., not to mention the recent tragic deaths of Kobe Bryant and his daughter. Everywhere the worldContinue reading “How long, O Lord?”

Send it to the cross

(Photo taken by Samantha St. Cyr) I remember being here last year: heartbroken. My spine crumpled into the hard wooden cross, tears splashing between my splayed fingers. “Please take away my anxiety.” Another girl testified God had healed her mental illness. One year later I’m told I have depression, too. I fight it. A fewContinue reading “Send it to the cross”

Before the Rooster Crows

I recently remembered something that happened to me on the last night of the Urbana18 missions conference. It was long past midnight on New Year’s Day, and as I took the hotel elevator along with fellow students, two girls joined us. They had been out partying and were definitely a little drunk. I swallowed, notContinue reading “Before the Rooster Crows”

The Table for Sinners

Approaching the basket of bread, I feel weak. My limbs are heavy and my thoughts are so scattered it is difficult to focus. I’m thinking about a lost friend, a broken relationship, a hard conversation, and rejection. I’m thinking about my anxiety and occasional depression. I’m thinking about how much I despised myself yesterday. I’mContinue reading “The Table for Sinners”

Embodied Worship

  I grew up in churches (and cultures) where worshiping with your body was viewed rather judgmentally. At least, you knew who the congregants were who raised their hands while singing, and they always sat in the very front pews. When I was in middle school, my family attended a couple mega-churches for short periods of time,Continue reading “Embodied Worship”