poem: ionic

I’m shoring up sermons against Seattle storms,warned of the darkness that settles in the souland lingers, unlike old lovers. I bought a $5 off-white owl mug for teaand a Himalayan salt lamp like Malways lit to welcome us homeand a fuzzy white blanket to fallaround my aching limbsdrained from breaking heartsand stereotypes about minority women.Continue reading “poem: ionic”

work as love

Nobody prepared me for the identity crisis that is “no longer being a student.” I’ve been working as a full-time brand journalist for two weeks now, and I’m face-to-face with the reality of indefinite work and what that means. Not being someone who wants to climb the corporate ladder, I’m having to redefine what growth,Continue reading “work as love”

poem: untitled

In forsaking the ability to change,they diminish their capacity for hope.—Kathleen Norris, “Dakota” What must it feel liketo not be somebody’s first love? I’m sick of being angry.My therapist said thisis part of grief. I always know I’m home whenI don’t feel Asian enoughfor anyone on social media. I’m afraid to write.“You must trust theContinue reading “poem: untitled”

Remember

Forgetfulness is simultaneously a desirable and undesirable thing that flits between conscious striving and my conscience. It’s a defense and an attack. A quick look backwards and our efforts crumble to pieces. The fortress falls. The memory room collapses. And so much clawing can’t get us out. I have wanted to forget the sound ofContinue reading “Remember”

2020 in Books

This year was the year of story. I clung to the narratives I found veined across paper when it felt like my own was crumbling like so much sand between my fingers. In the midst of the wilderness — silences, lengthy depressive episodes, pixels, temptation, lonely nights and lonely walks, difficult but needed good-byes, aContinue reading “2020 in Books”

non-mother’s meditation on motherhood

Joan Didion writes in Blue Nights, “Once she was born I was never not afraid.” How much more anxious does one become upon having a child—upon being touched by God to bring up a little life that looks a little like oneself? To see oneself in the face of this sweet creature, this beautiful creatureContinue reading “non-mother’s meditation on motherhood”