collected thoughts, i

This morning I hit the snooze button for an hour and a half before writing a draft for a paper in one hour instead of two and a half. I’m still tired and the coffee isn’t helping.

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Sometimes all you can do is write one or two lines at a time.

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I believe I met God in the moment my mother knocked on my door when I was on the floor crying in the middle of the day, trying to be brave.

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There’s a growing pile of snail mail on the right-hand side of my desk but I haven’t put them in the mailbox yet.

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Last week, when I was too anxious to eat with my family, my mother brought dinner to my room on a black ceramic tray with white orchids painted on the top.

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Prayer is hard. No words come. Except: Lord, have mercy.

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“Home” by Marilynne Robinson made me cry. I liked it even better than “Gilead” but maybe that’s because I saw so much of myself in Glory and Jack.

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I hate being on social media all the time. I find myself throwing my phone across the room a lot, but gently so that it lands on the bed and not in the wall.

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I believe I met God when I leaned over to retrieve a stuffed animal from the floor and the sharp corner of my desk was so close I felt it snag my hair but not my skull.

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The mockingbirds are back. I thank God for their song.

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A few days ago I dreamed that I ran into a friend at the airport. But they didn’t want to talk to me so I got on my plane and the plane flew away.

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