Day 13 – Folding

In her prayer to open the class time, Megan misspeaks and says “before You go” instead of “before we go.” It strikes me that such a simple change of phrase can bear such comforting meaning in a time of stress.

God goes before us. God is already in all the places we are about to be. He is preparing space for us to be.

***

The first words my heart cries, hands outstretched with surrender and desperation to be filled: “God! You are worthy, you are good, you are all I’ll ever need.”

***

Singing (screaming) Dodie’s “If I’m Being Honest” in the apartment basement while doing my laundry makes me feel better and worse all at once.

***

I realize I really need to let go. I keep asking God for healing and he keeps asking me to let go of some things and I keep holding on. I want healing but I can’t stand the thought of letting go of what or who I once held dear.

***

We make a late night Target run to stock up on odds and ends as we prepare for six weeks traveling around England. We blast “so tired” on the way and it’s never felt more real. Kailin and Jared buy pizzas that we pop in the oven as soon as we return.

The apartment fills with smoke.

If you open the oven the oxygen will rush in and feed the fire.

“Lopez! Do you know how to use a fire extinguisher?”

“I don’t think so. Why?”

***

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